In the journey of life, finding security within oneself is a profound step towards emotional independence and well-being. The fear of loneliness, abandonment, or not being needed can drive us into seeking constant company, sometimes even when it harms more than heals. Recognizing the value of being alone, and understanding that space is not only necessary but beneficial, can transform our approach to relationships and self-love. Let’s explore how embracing solitude can lead to a stronger, more secure self.
Space is often perceived as a gap, a void that needs filling. However, it’s essential to recognize space as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. Being alone allows us to reconnect with our desires, goals, and priorities without external influence. It’s a state where we can truly listen to ourselves, understand our needs, and practice self-love. When we appreciate our own company, the fear of space diminishes, and we start valuing quality connections over quantity.
The thought, “I’d rather be alone than in a toxic relationship,” signifies a critical realization that not all company is good company. Staying in relationships that drain your energy and bring negativity into your life, just for the sake of avoiding loneliness, can be more damaging than beneficial. Recognizing the signs of toxic relationships and having the courage to step away is a testament to self-respect and love.
Showing love to oneself is crucial in building self-security. This can be through simple acts like setting aside time for hobbies, practicing self-care, or engaging in activities that bring joy. Self-love is about acknowledging your worth and giving yourself the same kindness and compassion you’d offer to others.
The fear of abandonment can make the thought of someone being busy or needing space feel like a personal rejection. It’s important to challenge these fears by affirming your worth and understanding that others’ actions are not always reflections of your value. Cultivating a strong sense of self and investing in relationships that foster mutual respect and independence can mitigate these fears.
Wondering, “How can I make them need me too?” stems from a place of insecurity, fearing that we’re not enough on our own. True connection doesn’t arise from neediness but from genuine mutual appreciation and respect. Focusing on being a complete individual, rather than seeking someone to complete you, lays the groundwork for healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
The thoughts “I can’t survive alone” or “Space is scary” are manifestations of an underlying fear of independence. Overcoming this fear starts with small steps—spending time alone, getting comfortable with your thoughts, and gradually embracing solitude as a positive, empowering experience.
Moving towards a place of self-security is a journey of introspection, acceptance, and growth. It involves challenging fears, embracing solitude, and recognizing your own worth independently of others. Secure individuals enjoy their own company, enter relationships not out of need but out of choice, and understand the value of space in fostering healthy connections.
In conclusion, while the path to self-security may seem daunting, especially for those who fear abandonment or solitude, it’s a journey worth embarking on. By embracing solitude, practicing self-love, and seeking quality over quantity in our relationships, we can find true security within ourselves—a strength that no external factor can diminish.
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Maths educator by profession and sketchnoter by passion. She loves teaching maths using sketchnotes. She is also an acredited school sketchnote trainer with Visual Thinking School, Netherlands.
More of her sketchnotes can be checked on her Instagram: @Lavanya_anugula
